Wine and Roses
Season 1, Episode 6
Written by Kevin White
Directed by Jerry Ciccoritti
Synopsis: Moira is asked to help promote a local winery, while David is in need of medical attention.
Rating: ★★★★☆
At last – an episode of Schitt’s Creek that qualifies as a bona fide classic. Until now there have been plenty of amusing one-liners and memorable moments; but ‘Wine and Roses’ has an entire main storyline that hits the mark, with quotable lines galore, great character development, and a performance by Catherine O’Hara that finally shows us Moira in all her glory. The secondary plot is less successful, but the episode as a whole counts as a win.
The pre-title scene kicks things off to a great start, as Johnny’s problems with the motel phone system are only made worse by Alexis’s oblivious efforts to be helpful. Somewhat ironically, after his futile attempt in the previous episode to fit a bolt on the connecting door, it’s now apparently lockable... from the other side. Eugene Levy’s comic timing here is impeccable – especially given that what appears to be one continuous scene, as Johnny runs in and out of the room shouting instructions to Stevie in reception, is actually a sequence of cuts between the studio interior and the motel location, in footage filmed many weeks apart.
Johnny, it seems, has been in contact with a number of local businesses, offering his services as a management consultant. The only response comes from Herb Ertlinger, of Herb Ertlinger Winery. The twist is that Herb isn’t interested in Johnny's entrepreneurial expertise; he and his wife are fans of Sunrise Bay, Moira’s ertswhile soap opera, and he’s keen to get her to promote his product by presenting some commercials. Johnny, stung by the rejection, tries to persuade Moira that such tawdry work is beneath her, but Moira is thrilled – it’s the first acting work she’s been offered in a long time and she’s determined to give it her all.
What follows is hilarious but also strangely touching, as Moira’s nerves get the better of her, while Johnny’s well-meaning attempts to get involved only succeed in winding up the film crew, until Moira herself is forced to ask him, gently but firmly, to leave. Ultimately, however, he has to return to the set to coax Moira out of her trailer; she has convinced herself that she is no good and has locked herself away to drown her sorrows in Herb Ertlinger’s ghastly fruit wine.
This scene is played mostly for genuine emotion rather than cheap laughs and is all the better for it. ‘I blew it, Johnny,’ Moira whimpers. ‘I don’t know how to do this any more... I’ve ruined everything.’ Johnny assures her that she still has what it takes: ‘You’re radiant. You’re beguiling. You were daytime television’s brightest star. All you have to do is go out there and shine.’ Moira tearfully pulls herself together and declares, ‘I'm gonna fucking nail it!’ And Levy and O’Hara nail this scene, demonstrating once again the fruits of 40 years working together and striking the perfect balance between comedy and pathos.
Meanwhile, David is convinced he’s having a heart attack; he’s not sleeping, his pulse is irregular, and he believes his immune system is suffering due to his inability to find kale anywhere in town (a one-liner that, with hindsight, doesn’t really chime with what we subsequently learn about David’s food habits). There’s no doctor in town so as a last resort Stevie takes him to the local veterinary clinic where we encounter Ted Mullens (played by Dustin Milligan) for the first time. Ted will come to play a major part in the lives of the Rose family but, for now, he proves his credentials by assuring David that what he’s experiencing is, in fact, a panic attack. Milligan nails Ted’s character straight away, making him reassuringly approachable and instantly likeable.
David needs to find a way to relax and, to that end, he goes along to a yoga session run by Twyla at Mutt’s barn. The students are asked to pair up, and Alexis finds herself with Mutt. We know from an earlier scene that she’s starting to become attracted to him, and there’s some awkward (in the sense of unfunny) comedy arising from the enforced physical contact between the two.
David, meanwhile, is paired with Jocelyn, who has heard about his ‘nervous breakdown’ from Ted; evidently vets aren’t bound by the same rules of patient confidentiality as apply to regular doctors. When Twyla exhorts her students to vocalise the cause of any tension they may be feeling, Jocelyn mentions having burnt her sausage casserole; David’s devastating response is, ‘I'm pretty sure I’m really lonely here.’ Despite himself, he finds the yoga calming and, while lying on Jocelyn’s back, ends up fast asleep and snoring.
The episode ends with a newly confident Moira delivering a near perfect version of the wine commercial (a note in the original script says ‘You can barely tell she’s loaded’). Her hand wanders a little when reaching for the wine glass, and she stumbles slightly over the word ‘crabapple’, but recovers. It’s nearly in the bag. Just one hurdle remains: the name of the vintner, Herb Ertlinger... at which point the edifice collapses. This magnificently hilarious tag to the episode must rank as one of the most-shared viral clips from the show; many people who have never seen an episode of Schitt’s Creek will have laughed at this scene on Instagram and commented ‘Name of show pls?’
This is an episode with some wonderfully subtle gags that reward close attention. Herb’s assurance that his fruit wines are ‘100% insecticide-free’ comes just as Moira discovers a dead bug floating in hers – and the phone call Herb takes immediately afterward turns out to be from someone supplying him with a new sprayer. The background extras during Moira’s first attempt at shooting the commercial are hilarious, as they repeat the same pointless moves (lifting a basket of apples on and off a stepladder) over and over. There’s also a continuation of a running gag where Alexis (still doing her community service with Mutt) is blissfully careless with the equipment she’s been given. In episode 4 she left her litter spike leaning against a roadside dumpster and had to run back for it in her high heels. Here, as she and Mutt are tipping the roadkill they’ve gathered into another dumpster, Alexis nonchalantly removes her work gloves and tosses those in as well.
Incidentally, we get an explanation of sorts for those heels. Mutt asks why she dresses up to go out picking up trash, and Alexis responds that it’s because her role model is Naomi Campbell, who famously wore a Dolce & Gabbana gown while carrying out her community service. It’s not, as we might have previously assumed, simply a thoughtlessly inappropriate choice of clothing; it’s a conscious statement of rebellion. Whatever you think of her logic, or the values that underpin it, it’s a sign that there’s a functioning brain behind Alexis’s ditzy exterior, something we will come to realise more and more in future seasons.
For now, we’re half way through season 1, and Schitt’s Creek is beginning to show signs of hitting its stride.
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Moira-ism: ‘This wine is aw-ful! Get me another glass.’
Fun fact: The increasingly mangled pronunciations of Herb Ertlinger’s name at the end of the episode were all improvised by Catherine O’Hara.
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Previous episode: The Cabin
Next episode: Turkey Shoot